EWH Chapter 150

There hadn’t been any significant changes in their relationship since leaving the dungeon. Nathan pretended not to know about Azar’s feelings while being fully aware of them, and Azar, knowing this, would make advances that never crossed the line. Nathan would then pretend to give in… That was the extent of their relationship.

Nathan knew his behavior amounted to little more than stringing someone along. He thought he should reach a proper conclusion. Yet despite thinking this, he couldn’t bring himself to push Azar away. Now he found himself worrying that it would be too shameless to act differently, especially when he still couldn’t figure out his own feelings.

Just as Nathan thumped his forehead against the shelf again with another sigh, it happened.

“Nathan?”

Startled by the sudden call, Nathan straightened up abruptly. Rubbing his reddened forehead as if trying to hide it, he turned around to find Berry standing there.

“Ah, Berry…”

As Nathan called out to her in a daze, Berry approached.

“Well, it’s been a while. Do you know how worried everyone was when you disappeared right after coming back?”

“Haha… Sorry about that. Something suddenly came up…”

Responding sheepishly to the criticism, Nathan asked, “What brings you here?”

“Why else would anyone come to a library?”

“…Right, that was a stupid question.”

What other reason would there be to visit a library except to look for books? Belatedly realizing how foolish his question was, Nathan felt extremely embarrassed. Watching him, Berry smiled mischievously. After glancing around to confirm they were alone, Berry finally spoke again.

“I’m kidding. Actually, I’ve been looking for you.”

“…Me?”

“Yeah, and it was quite a hassle finding you. I looked everywhere but couldn’t spot you anywhere. Where on earth were you hiding? How is it that nobody knows where to find you?”

As Berry expressed her frustration at the mystery, Nathan responded with an ambiguous smile, avoiding a direct answer. Berry shot him a sulky look before snorting and continuing.

“…Hmph, anyway, I’m glad I found you here. I remembered you used to work part-time at the library, so I thought I’d check, but I didn’t actually expect you to be here. Don’t tell me you’ve been working here all this time without saying anything?”

“Ah, no… I’m just helping out briefly.”

“Oh? That’s good then. I would’ve been hurt if you were. I mean, you hardly attend classes anymore, then you suddenly disappear without a word, and now you might’ve been working here secretly too… Ah, just thinking about it makes me feel neglected, Nathan.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Thanks to that, the delivery got delayed too.”

“Huh? What delivery?”

When Nathan looked puzzled, Berry pulled out a small jewelry box.

“This, the item you requested from our merchant guild before. …Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten?”

“Ah, ah! Of-of course I remember!”

“You don’t sound very convincing. Anyway, remember how I said it would take quite a while since we had to get it from outside the kingdom? It finally arrived last week, and I’ve been trying to find you to hand it over. But you were nowhere to be seen, and when I tried looking for the Prince’s group, they were just as hard to find. I was really at a loss about what to do with this.”

Berry showed a bitter smile as she spoke. Nathan accepted the jewelry box from Berry. When Berry gestured for him to take a look inside, he peeked in to find a ring similar to the one Azar had.

“I’ve done my part in delivering it.”

“Thank you. I’ll make sure to pass it on.”

“Also, please let the Prince know that our merchant guild is at his service whenever he needs us.”

“I will. Thanks again.”

“Well, I’ll be going then. Oh, and Nathan? Drop by the classroom sometimes. Everyone misses you.”

“…Sure.”

With that, Berry left the library as if her business was concluded, leaving Nathan standing there dumbfounded for a moment before resuming his organization of the books he was holding. Only after finishing did he carefully reopen the jewelry box and hold the ring in his hand. Calypse questioned him.

[Do you know how to use it?]

“More or less.”

Since Azar had shown him, he knew how to use it. But he wouldn’t have occasion to use it himself. He’d only taken it out to verify it was genuine. As he turned it over, examining its authenticity, Calypse spoke again.

[But you look like you want to use it.]

“…”

Nathan remained silent at that. The words were true. Slowly rolling the ring in his palm, Nathan hesitantly responded.

“…I feel like I’m about to completely forget what I originally looked like, so I wanted to see it just once more.”

He’d thought about it occasionally whenever he remembered the existence of transformation magic. He wanted to see his original appearance just once, before the memories became too hazy. But he never had the chance. He hadn’t even considered asking to borrow Azar’s ring. He’d only thought that maybe he’d try it once when Calypse eventually taught him transformation magic.

“But now that I have the chance, I can’t seem to find the courage.”

Nathan gave a bitter smile. Part of him wondered if it was foolish to do this just when he was finally getting used to this body, and part of him hesitated, unable to predict how he’d feel after seeing his original appearance. Or perhaps he was afraid? That might be it.

[If you think you’ll regret it, put the ring back in the box and forget about it.]

“…”

[If not, using it wouldn’t be so bad.]

“…Mmm, that’s why it’s such a difficult decision.”

He grimaced with a troubled smile before seemingly making up his mind and slipping the ring onto an empty finger. Closing his eyes, he channeled magic into the ring and concentrated. What his hair was like, what his eyes were like… As he felt the familiar yet unfamiliar magic mixing and flowing through his body, his hazy memories gradually took shape. The wavering image, like a heat haze, was now something utterly foreign and awkward.

When he opened his eyes a moment later, Nathan Nover was no longer there.

[So that’s the original you.]

“…”

The reflection in the library window was unsettlingly unfamiliar. Though he hadn’t seen it for barely over two years, it felt so strange that it was like facing a stranger for the first time.

“…Surprisingly, I feel nothing.”

Despite all his worry and fear, actually seeing it like this felt surprisingly neutral. His mind was eerily calm.

Black hair much shorter than ‘Nathan’s’, though slightly long by the standards of where he used to live, as if he’d missed the time to cut it. Eyes that appeared black at first glance showed brown in the sunlight. The face of a man who looked utterly exhausted.

Cautiously, he raised his hand to touch his face. His eyes, nose, mouth, brushing aside the cumbersome bangs. With each touch, his emotions began to stir like ripples in still water from a thrown stone. So he roughly pulled off the ring. Like a mirage, the magic dissolved instantly.

The man whose name he couldn’t even remember vanished just like that.

His heart was racing before he knew it. Nathan ran his trembling hands over his face several times as if wiping it. His glasses caught on his fingers and fell to the floor.

Clatter─

The sound of his glasses falling seemed unusually loud, making Nathan flinch. It was like being doused with cold water, bringing him back to his senses.

“Ah…”

The unformed word faded with his sigh.

“That probably wasn’t a good choice.”

Nathan muttered vacantly.

“Maybe it would have been better to keep forgetting. Perhaps it would be better to forget completely…”

Nathan bit his lip hard. The unidentifiable emotion made him nauseous. Hurriedly picking up his fallen glasses, Nathan headed off to find Bill. Since he’d just finished the requested task, he wanted to let him know he was leaving.

Leaving the empty section of the library, he could finally breathe easier. His robe billowed dramatically as he strode past students sitting around or selecting books. This briefly drew attention to him before gazes scattered away.

“Bill.”

Bill, who had just set down some documents, spotted Nathan and smiled. Nathan forced his lips to curl up in response.

“I’ve finished what you asked for. I was thinking of heading out now, unless there’s anything else you need?”

“Oh my, thank you. You’ve really helped me out. It would be too shameless to ask for more. Here, this is payment for your help today.”

“Ah, you don’t have to. I barely did anything…”

“You should be paid for your work. Come on now.”

Faced with such insistence, Nathan had no choice but to accept the rather heavy pouch. After exchanging farewells and leaving the library, Nathan began walking the corridors aimlessly. He had no particular destination in mind. He just wanted to walk wherever his feet took him, feeling the cold wind. Perhaps that would help calm his turbulent heart.