EWH Chapter 121

“Mmph?”

Surprised, Nathan tried to part his lips, but at that moment, the tongue that had been mostly still since entering his mouth began to move awkwardly. Nathan’s eyes crinkled and his body trembled at the unfamiliar sensation.

Azar, who had been steadily meeting Nathan’s eyes that had been shaking like a boat tossed in a storm, soon averted his gaze slightly. Nathan, who had been equally taking in the trembling eyelashes and the lowered blue eyes, was at a loss for how to react to this response.

What had been little more than artificial respiration now clearly held a different intention. The way it tickled his palate and swept over his even teeth sent shivers down his spine. The tongue that had been awkwardly exploring his mouth now touched the other flesh inside. At this, the hand that had been clutching at clothing as if hanging on now pushed against Azar’s chest.

But Azar remained unmoved. The locked lips showed no sign of parting. Feeling his toes curl, Nathan unconsciously turned his head. However, whenever their lips were about to separate, they locked again. Because of the fingers that not only cupped his cheeks but also gripped his nape, Nathan couldn’t move an inch. His head kept tilting back. Before he knew it, his back touched the wall. He wanted to retreat, but there was nowhere left to go.

The wet, squelching sound made the tips of his ears burn. Nathan now found it hard to breathe for a different reason. His head was spinning. When his clenched fist weakly tapped Azar’s shoulder, their lips finally parted. Even so, they were still close enough for their lips to touch.

“Haa…”

As their noses rubbed and heated breaths of unknown origin touched, his hair stood on end. The emotion in the eyes looking at him was so unfamiliar that Nathan hurriedly moved his lips, fearing Azar might kiss him again.

“[─…!]”

…It was an ordinary sleep spell. No, it might have been a fainting spell… In his confusion, he wasn’t sure which he had used, but instantly, Azar’s body collapsed like a marionette with its strings cut.

“…Haa, haa.”

Nathan breathed heavily, feeling the heavy weight that had fallen on top of him. Surely his face must be noticeably red now.

With trembling hands, Nathan wiped his wet lips and looked at Azar, who had fallen asleep leaning on his chest. Seeing Azar’s lips glistening with saliva like his own, he immediately squeezed his eyes shut, regretting having looked.

“This is driving me crazy.”

Nathan muttered as if lamenting, pressing his dizzy forehead.

The “what if” assumption that he had pushed aside, scolding himself that it couldn’t be, that it was just his misconception, that it was nonsense, that his thoughts were wandering – now resurfaced, muddling his mind.

The assumption that maybe this guy likes me?

…That kind of delusional assumption, that is. Nathan blinked slowly. He had pushed that assumption aside because, naturally, they were both men, and moreover, the subject was Azar… He had never thought of him in that way, so even when the possibility crossed his mind, he dismissed it as nonsense.

After much deliberation, Azar’s behavior had been strange enough to make him consider even such an assumption. But he had continued to worry, covering it up by thinking it couldn’t be. Why Azar was acting that way.

Ah, he was confused, so confused.

He roughly rubbed his flushed face with both hands. His head was spinning. He tried to calm his wildly beating heart, but it wouldn’t settle easily. His chest felt itchy, and he felt nauseous as if motion sick.

At first, when he had come to his senses, he had been bewildered, but since he couldn’t breathe properly, he could have passed off that action as just artificial respiration… But now he couldn’t brush it off like that. Of course not. Who could think of anything else when someone kissed them with such eyes?

Nathan sighed deeply and irritably messed up Azar’s hair as he leaned against him, sleeping peacefully. The soft blonde hair clung to his hand. He wanted to grab and squeeze the smooth forehead revealed as he swept back the instantly disheveled hair, but…

“This isn’t the time. This isn’t…”

Nathan struggled to extract his body from under Azar and staggered to his feet. For a moment, his vision swayed. He shook his head slightly and headed towards the window.

The monster had indeed returned due to the commotion earlier.

“[Haa, seeing that it’s not attacking right away… I guess Calypse did create it after all.]”

As if in affirmation, all the red eyes stared at him at once. Did this monster know how creepy that was?

Though he had spent several days with monsters in the territory because of Calypse, he still wasn’t used to it at all. Fear remained in one corner of his heart. Various other emotions welled up suddenly, but… Nathan couldn’t quite distinguish whether these were his own innate feelings or remnants of emotions that the original owner of this body had held.

‘Either way, I probably won’t get used to it even if I see them for a lifetime.’

Nathan sat on the windowsill. He was too tired. It was torture trying to hold back from collapsing right then and there. Moreover, he was forcibly manipulating mana right now, which made it even more unbearable.

“[I’m sorry about earlier. I was flustered too…]”

Nathan reached out and stroked the monster. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant texture.

As long as he had Calypse’s grimoire, the monsters created by Calypse wouldn’t attack him. They would run towards him when they saw him, but that was out of familiarity, not to harm him outright. That’s why he could face it like this now.

Of course, the thought that this situation seemed like a rigged game wouldn’t leave his mind, but what could he do? It’s not like he could say he could communicate with and persuade monsters. This wasn’t omnipotent either. He couldn’t even distinguish which ones Calypse had created. He could only assume they were Calypse’s creations when they showed goodwill like this.

“[That’s enough now, right? Don’t come this way for a while.]”

Nathan gently patted the monster and whispered softly with his exhausted voice. His tone was as if he was dealing with a puppy. In response, the monster that had been devouring magical power blinked its large eyes as if answering, then pulled its body away from the window and began to return the way it had come.

Boom! Boom…

The footsteps that had been shaking the building gradually faded away. Only then did Nathan relax, leaning his cheek against the cold window and closing his eyes for a moment. His upper lip felt damp. Drops of blood were falling from his chin. He fumbled around in his bag. His hand quickly found a familiar bottle. Nathan immediately poured the medicine into his mouth. He strongly felt that he should just take it rather than die trying to save it.

Then he got down from the windowsill and summoned his wand. It was only a matter of time before Azar woke up. The royal family had resistance to magic, so such spells tended to wear off faster for them than for others. That’s why Ramiya had opened her eyes right after Azar when they fell from the sky.

“I don’t have the confidence to face him…”

He had put him to sleep on impulse, but hadn’t planned for what came after. What should he say when Azar opens his eyes? Wouldn’t pretending not to know anything be the best option?

Sighing, Nathan first drew a magic circle on the floor. It was an illusion and perception magic. If the magic activates properly, tonight should pass without incident. Sending the monster away earlier was just a temporary measure. There wasn’t just that one monster here, and he didn’t want to risk encountering other monsters and having that one act friendly towards him in front of them.

And he planned to use up as much magical power as possible and lie down before Azar woke up. That way, at least for now, they wouldn’t have to face each other. He wanted to sleep and wake up thinking it was all a dream. He couldn’t argue if someone called it escapism.

‘…But there’s nearly a 10-year age gap between me and Azar.’

As soon as that thought occurred to him, Nathan stopped drawing the magic circle and smacked his forehead. His forehead immediately turned red in the shape of his palm. For him, who was originally close to thirty, the current situation only made him feel guilty.

‘I kissed that young boy… Stop thinking about it.’

Though their outward appearances were the same 19 years old, what was inside wasn’t. It was something hard to handle with a sane mind.

Nathan hastily scribbled the magic circle, then approached Azar, put his arm over his shoulder, and supported him. Really, though they were about the same height, maybe because of the muscles, the weight was no joke. Barely managing to drag him, he finally laid Azar down on the bed in one corner of the room.

“Geez, sleeping like an angel without knowing how I feel.”

Nathan sighed and sat down at Azar’s bedside. Then he flicked Azar’s nose with his finger. Watching his face scrunch up in pain even in his sleep, he sighed again.

Of course, he liked Azar too. If you call it love, this too would be love. But whether it was romantic, he wasn’t sure. After all, his feelings for him had started from admiration. Even if at first he had approached him to survive here, and out of loneliness, even then, what underlaid his actions was affection for him. He wouldn’t dare deny the fact that those feelings had grown gradually as he spent time with him and experienced his kindness. That’s why they were in this situation now.

If he didn’t love him, he wouldn’t have voluntarily put himself through this hardship, wearing out his body in a place like this.

“I wished for your happiness, but I never once thought that I would be included in that happiness…”

Nathan muttered absentmindedly as he brushed back Azar’s disheveled hair.